When Father Tried To Kill The Cock-a-doodle-doo 1911 B Williams

by James Pitt-Payne, London UK - 28Jan2025
2025

Said Ma one day to Pa,
"I'd like a bit of poultry,"
Dad said, "Right you are.
I'll go and kill the cock."
With chopper in his hand
he interviewed the bird,
'Twas father's greatest fight,
for in the first round this occurred.

When poor old father tried to kill
the cockadoodledoo,
you talk of Balaclava and
the field of Waterloo.
It fastened on his rasp'bry nose,
and round and round it flew,
and you couldn't tell your father
from the cockadoodledoo.
When poor old father tried to kill
the cockadoodledoo
the neighbours shouted "Coward!
he's not tall enough for you."
so Dad went on his hands and knees,
and skin and whiskers flew,
for father had a cockfight
with the cockadoodledoo

When father just for spoof,
spurred up and brought
his left round,
the cock flew on the roof,
and while we shouted "Foul!"
Dad climbed the gutter spout,
and on the chimney stack
he wrestled with the cock
and got him down upon his back.

When poor old father tried to kill
the cockadoodledoo,
They both fell down the chimney,
father got stuck in the flue.
Said mother, as she grabbed his tootsies
"While I pull you through,
You had better sweep the chimney with
his cockadoodledoo,
When poor old father tried to kill
the cockadoodledoo,
The bird jumped in the dustbin
and poor father jumped in too.
Said mother, "Put the lid on!
I can get new dads for you,
but I mightn't ever get another
cockadoodledoo,

Dad shoved it in the tank
and did his best to drown it,
but oh it never sank
it had been hatched by a duck,
and when it knocked him down,
with just one mighty peck,
a pair of hens were laying
softshelled eggs
down father's neck.

When poor old father tried to kill
the cockadoodledoo,
"We shan't watch any football match,"
we shouted, "this'll do!"
It's true he's lost his right wing
and he lost his left wing too,
but the spurs are Tott'nham Hotspurs
on that cockadoodledoo,
When poor old father tried to kill
the cockadoodledoo,
He blunted all the knives and forks
and broke the chopper too.
We called out all the p'lice force
and the Life Guards, Red and Blue,
and we wired for Winston Churchill
to our cockadoodledoo,

Said father, white and grim,
as he picked up the clothes line,
"I'll soon settle him!
I'll hang him up s'elp me bob!"
And when he'd tied the rope
bound that bird's neck so tight
he poked it through the keyhole
and he pulled with all his might.

When poor old father tried to kill
the cockadoodledoo,
The string was round his neck
but oh! the bird knew what to do.
and soon we saw poor father
at the age of sixty two,
dragged halfway thru the keyhole
by that cockadoodledoo,
When poor old father tried to kill
the cockadoodledoo,
A man rode up on horseback
with a paper coloured blue,
he handed it to dad,
who said, "There won't be any stew!
Lor lumme! It's a pardon for our
cockadoodledoo.

Soft karaoke
Words
piano 1
piano 2
piano 3
piano 4
lyric
pizz str bass
*
When Father Tried To Kill The Cock-a-doodle-doo 1911 B Williams
by Weston & Barnes
© MCMXI by Francis, Day & Hunter
*
sequence & karaoke by James Pitt-Payne, London UK
on Tuesday 28 January 2025 at 17.33
in association with Torquil Syme
*
James Pitt-Payne