No One Believes I'm A Mermaid 1934

Dr. Pitt-Payne in London UK - 12 Jun 2002

A young fellow bathing last year in the sea,
insisted on saving my life.
He dragg'd me ashore and went crazy on me,
and wanted to make me his wife.
I had to refuse him,
I hated to lose him,
'cos marriage had been my ambition,
but he thought me dotty,
halfwitted and potty,
when I had explained my position.

No one believes I'm a mermaid,
but honest and truly I am!
Some people think I'm a girl with the gout,
others say "What a remarkable trout!"
Some people dip me in breadcrumbs,
but some think my tail is a sham.
It makes me so hot and untidy,
avoiding fishmongers on Friday.
No one believes I'm a mermaid at all,
but honest and truly I am! Ah!

No one believes I'm a mermaid,
but honest and truly I am!
If I wear dresses that don't reach the ground,
someone comes up and says:
"How much a pound?"
If I go out for the evening,
I have to hold somebody's arm.
To drinking my friends put it all down,
'cause each time I stand up I fall down.
No one believes I'm a mermaid at all,
but honest and truly I am!

How can a poor daughter of Neptune be gay,
when people consider her odd?
I'm getting so weary of hearing them say:
"Is that fancy dress or a cod?"
It's not very pleasant,
If I get a present,
of lovely silk stockings or slippers.
And it doesn't please me,
if somebody sees me,
and thinks I'm an outsize in kippers.

No one believes I'm a mermaid,
but honest and truly I am!
I've had adventures that weren't very nice,
I've had to sit in the larder on ice.
Ev'ry hotel that I go to,
the manager says in alarm:
"I'm sorry that this should occur, but
we can't let a room to a turbot."
No one believes I'm a mermaid at all,
but honest and truly I am! Ah!

No one believes I'm a mermaid,
but honest and truly I am!
I feel so foolish at tennis or sports,
wearing one leg of my white flannelled shorts.
One day I went to The Test match,
I thought I should come to no harm,
but Sutcliffe and Hammond and Jardine
insisted that I was a sardine.
No one believes I'm a mermaid at all,
but honest and truly I am!

Soft karaoke
Words
lyric
treble clef
bass clef
No One Believes I'm a Mermaid 1934
Music by Noel Gay
Lyric by Desmond Carter
Copyright MCMXXXIV by Chappell and Co Ltd
50 New Bond Street London W.1.
sequence and karaoke by Dr. Pitt-Paynbe in London UK
on Wednesday 12 June 2002 at 19.27
in association with Doug Grierson
*
reset 12 June 2002
old seq 27 Aug 2000
*