Misalliance 1977 'Flanders and Swann'

Dr. Pitt-Payne in London UK - 30 Dec 2002

The fragrant honeysuckle
spirals clockwise to the sun
and many other creepers do the same.
But some climb anticlockwise;
the Bindweed does, for one,
or Convolvulus, to give her proper name.

Rooted on either side a door
one of each species grew
and raced towards the windowledge above;
Each corkscrewed to the lintel
in the only way it knew,
where they stopped, touched tendrils,
smiled, and fell in love.

Said the righthanded Honeysuckle
to the lefthanded Bindweed:
"Oh, let us get married
if our parents don't mind;
we'd be loving and inseparable
inextricably entwined;
we'd live happily ever after,"
said the Honeysuckle to the Bindweed.

To the Honeysuckle's parents
it came as a shock.
"The Bindweeds," they cried,
"Are inferior stock,
they're uncultivated, of breeding bereft;
we twine to the right
and they twine to the left!"

Said the anticlockwise Bindweed
to the clockwise Honeysuckle:
"We'd better start saving,
many a mickle maks a muckle,
then run away for a Honeymoon
and hope that our luck'll
take a turn for the better,"
said the Bindweed to the Honeysuckle.

A Bee who was passing
remarked to them then:
"I've said it before,
and I'll say it again;
consider your offshoots,
if offshoots there be,
they'll never receive any blessing from me!"

"Poor little sucker,
how will it learn when it is climbing,
which way to turn?
Right, left, what a disgrace!
Or it may go straight up
and fall flat on its face!"

Said the righthand thread Honeysuckle
to the lefthand thread Bindweed:
"It seems that against us
all fate has combined...

Oh my darling, oh my darling,
oh my darling Columbine,
thou are lost and gone for ever,
we shall never intertwine."

Together they found them the very next day.
They had pulled up their roots
and just shrivelled away,
deprived of that freedom
for which we must fight
To veer to the left
or to veer to the right!

Soft karaoke
Words
treble clef 1
treble clef 2
lyric line
bass
*
Misalliance 1977 Flanders and Swann
by Michael Flanders and Donald Swann
copyright 1977 The Estates of Michael Flanders and Donald Swann
sequence and karaoke by Dr. Pitt-Payne in London UK
on Monday 30 December 2002 at 15.22
in association with Doug Grierson
*