Maud - 1901

Dr. Pitt-Payne in LondonUK 17 Jul 2001

There's a girl that lives over the way,
And she pounds the piano all day.
She sings like a fire engine, whistle or siren,
You'd hear her ten miles down the bay.
The name of the maiden is Maud,
And they say she has studied abroad;
Her father's new Steinway will be in a fine way,
The way it is hammered and clawed.
Oh! Maud, Maud, Maud!
The girl that has studied abroad,
She warbles soprano,
She bangs the piano,
Her parents stand by and applaud.
She sings when it's light,
and she sings half the night,
The neighbours are quite overawed;
They throw brickbats at her,
but that doesn't matter to
Maud, Maud, Maud.

She can play any possible clef,
And she plays the whole lot double 'f',
And when she enjoys herself over Tannhaüser,
You'd give all you own to be deaf.
But, though Wagner's her favourite man,
She will kill any songs that she can.
She sang from the Geisha the "Jewel of Asia",
They asked her to stop from Japan.
Oh! Maud, Maud, Maud!
The girl that has studied abroad,
I wish I could slaughter
The tutor who taught her,
He must be an absolute fraud.
Our houses and shops are supported by props,
because the foundations are flawed.
The concrete that's under is cracked,
and no wonder, through Maud, Maud, Maud.

Maudie owns a remarkable hand,
For in size it is gorgeous and grand!
If Rhodes ever met her,
I'm sure he would get her
To crush up the quartz on the Rand!
When she tries an arrangement by Listz
The piano she bangs with her fist;
Next morning her mother
Sends out for another,
The former has ceased to exist!
Oh! Maud, Maud, Maud!
The girl who has studied abroad,
Her style is so good,
She can smash any wood
That ever was chiselled or sawed.
She shows no fatigue at Beethoven, or Grieg,
And by Caryll she's not overawed,
She never is funked on Jones, German, or Monckton,
Not Maud, Maud, Maud.

When a lover with song she beguiles,
She arouses the babies for miles;
Her closing cadenza gives dogs influenza,
And tomcats drop dead from the tiles!
For the clouds blow away at the sound,
And the grass can't come out of the ground.
This year, for a wonder,
You won't hear the thunder,
It's frightened when Maudie is round!
Oh! Maud, Maud, Maud!
The girl who has studied abroad,
The trees have grown dry,
And they suddenly die
As if all their roots had been gnawed
When she opens her lips
There's a lunar eclipse,
The ice in the winter is thawed;
If the world's not to bust
Some philanthropist must
Murder Maud, Maud, Maud.

Soft karaoke
Words
treble clef 1
treble clef 2
lyric line
bass
Lyric Line

2nd verse
3rd verse
4th verse