I Never Miss 1920 "Joan of Arkansaw"

by James Pitt-Payne, London UK - 05 Jan 2007
2007

When I was but a stripling
I agreed with Mister Kipling
that the female was by far the deadlier sex.
Approached them with timidity,
afraid of their frigidity,
they seemed incomprehensibly complex
I learned what words in Cupid's dictionary meant,
but even that did not improve my "rep"
Then I grew bold
and started to experiment
and now I know that what they want is "pep."

I never miss, I never miss,
I've a system that is sure,
ev'ry girlie seeks adventure,
tho' her manner is demure.
I never try the mournful eye
or a plea for just a kiss,
I just take it and they like it.
I never miss, I never, never, never miss.

I never miss, I never miss,
so with confidence and ease,
I embraced this pretty maiden
without even saying please.
I stole a kiss, I stole a kiss,
then she struck out with her fist;
She was young and strong and Swedish.
I'm glad she missed
I'm awful, awful glad she missed.

I took a trip to Sweden
which you know is just an Eden
filled with beauties
of the tall and stately type,
I chanced to meet a pretty one,
her eyes were like the midnight sun,
her hair was fair, her cheeks like apples ripe.
I told her I was captain in the navy
an' some other lies,
I write all my own stuff,
my copyrights include the Scandinavian
in ev'ry country they like the treatment rough.

I never miss, I never miss,
I've a system that is sure,
ev'ry girlie seeks adventure,
tho' her manner is demure.
I never try the mournful eye
or a plea for just a kiss,
I just take it and they like it.
I never miss, I never, never, never miss.

I never miss, I never miss,
so with confidence and ease,
I embraced this pretty maiden
without even saying please.
I stole a kiss, I stole a kiss,
then she struck out with her fist;
She was young and strong and Swedish.
I'm glad she missed
I'm awful, awful glad she missed.

Soft karaoke
Words
piano 1
piano 2
piano 3
piano 4
lyric
pizz str bass
*
I Never Miss 1920
from the Musical Comedy
"Joan of Arkansaw"
Music by Herbert Stothart
Lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II
© MCMXX by Jerome H. Remick & Co.  N.Y. & Detroit
*
sequence & karaoke by James Pitt-Payne, London UK
on Friday 5 January 2007 at 3.08pm
in association with Doug Grierson
*