Home James, And Don't Spare The Horses 1934

Dr. Pitt-Payne in London UK - 10 May 2002

It was in the gay Nineties,
One night at a swell affair,
She was dress'd in her best Sunday bustles
And wore a bun in her hair,
Her lover was not tall or handsome,
but he was a terrible flirt,
He spent the entire evening
making up to ev'ry skirt.
Angrily she reproach'd him
He heeded not at all.
So she in her best Sunday bustle
went flouncing out of the hall.
She swept down the steps so majestic
To her footman standing below,
And in accents loud and clear,
She told him where to go.
Oh!

Home James, And Don't Spare The Horses,
This night has been ruined for me,
Oh, Home James,
And Don't Spare The Horses,
I'm ruined, as ruined can be.

We're still in the gay Nineties
It is the very next day,
Our hero's forlorn 'cause his girl's gone
And don't know just what to say,
He thinks that he'd better do something
to win her again for his own,
'Cause she was his very best sweetheart,
She was always good for a loan.
He goes straight to the mansion,
And says: "Forgive me, dear."
And as he tried to embrace her,
she gave him a sock on the ear.
He swept down the stairs so majestic,
And her footman booted him too,
As they threw him in the brougham she said:
"Twentythree skidoo."
Oh!

Home James, And Don't Spare The Horses,
Drive right thro' the main part of town,
Oh, Home James,
And Don't Spare The Horses,
He'll stand up 'cause he can't sit down.

We're still in the gay Nineties,
Our hero's hitting the booze.
Because he and his love one have parted,
he's living now on the loose.
He feels his disgrace very keenly,
Because he has no Wedding Ring.
He's lost the Belle of the village
And now he's a broken thing.
But in life Fate plays its part,
Our hero's crossing the street,
A team of fast bays knocks him over,
and steps on his face with their feet.
The lady who sat in the carriage,
Looked down at the man there in pain.
And when she saw who they had hit,
She said: "Run over him again."
Oh!
Home James, And Don't Spare The Horses,
He's cut up as tho' with a knife,
Oh, Home James,
And Don't Spare The Horses,
His beauty's been ruined for life.

We're still in the gay Nineties,
Our hero's a villain right now,
He's angry with his former sweetheart,
and means to kick up a row.
He's hired a very good lawyer,
One who has never won a case.
And he's goin' to sue the lady,
whose horses stepped in his face.
They served her with a summons,
She feels that he will win,
So in order to save her fortune,
She decides to go with him,
She marries him right where she finds him,
Fast asleep on the Court Room floor,
And as they poured him in the Brougham
You hear above his snore.

Oh, Home James,
And Don't Spare The Horses,
My husband is just a bit tight,
Oh, Home James,
And Don't Spare The Horses,
He will sleep in the stable tonight.

Soft karaoke
Words
treble clef 1
treble clef 2
lyric line
bass
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Home James, And Don't Spare The Horses 1934
by Fred Hillebrand
copyright MCMXXXIV by Southern Music Pub. Co. Inc., New York
and Southern Music Pub. Co. Ltd., London
sequence and karaoke by Dr. Pitt-Payne in London UK
on Friday 10 May 2002 at 12.56
in association with Doug Grierson
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