Heaven Help The Sailors 1934

by James Pitt-Payne, London UK - 31 May 2006
2006

Now here's the tale of the Saucy Sue
that sailed to hunt the Walrus
one Friday morning from Waterloo
and the crew all sang this chorus:

Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors
on a ship that sails on a Friday!

The Port light's red
and the Starboard's green
the Mate yelled: "Jumpin' Moses!"
One light stays STOP! and the other says GO!
and the ship, plays "Ring o' Roses"

Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors
on a ship that sails on a Friday!

They sailed ten thousand miles or more
then anchored just off Barking
to have a pint at the "Old Blue Boar"
but a P'liceman said: "No Parking!"

Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors
on a ship that sails on a Friday!

The boy stood on the burning deck
his language was the crudest
said he: "My trousers are burnt, by Heck!
and they all think I'm a nudist!"

Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors
on a ship that sails on a Friday!

Some pirates captured the ship out West,
and off the cliffs of Dover
sang: "Fourteen men on a dead man's chest,"
and then they turned him over!

Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors
on a ship that sails on a Friday!

They shouted: "Women and children first!"
And the Captain did a neat trick,
he powdered his nose, and padded his chest,
and looked like Marlene Dietrich

Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors
on a ship that sails on a Friday!

We sprung a leak while up the 'Pole'
and so we made another,
then as the sea poured in one hole
it rolled out through the other.

Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors
on a ship that sails on a Friday!

One awful night when the waters were blue
came rolling through the scupper
the ship 'turned turtle' and all the crew
had Turtle soup for supper.

Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors
on a ship that sails on a Friday!

The captain sat on the compass once
and said: "When I'm undressed lads,
you'll find the needle is pointing 'North'
but Drake is going West lads."

Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors
on a ship that sails on a Friday!

The vessel struck on a rock that night
it didn't half a jar get,
"Let's have a bite," said the 'midshipmite'
"Is it Blackpool rock or Margate?"

Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors
on a ship that sails on a Friday!

Our cargo was selfraising flour,
the crew, a lot of slow 'mutts'
let it get wet' when the sun came out
they were up to their eyes in doughnuts!

Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors
on a ship that sails on a Friday!

And then at last the boiler burst
up went the gallant schooner,
and if it hadn't gone so high
it might have come down sooner!

Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors!
Heaven help the sailors
on a ship that sails on a Friday!

Sail away on a Pancake Day
Christmas Day or a Guy Fawkes Day
but don't forget
whatever the day
that England expects that every man
will never sail on a Friday!

Soft karaoke
Words
piano 1
piano 2
piano 3
piano 4
lyric
pizz str bass
*
Heaven Help The Sailors 1934
Music by Harris Weston
Lyrics by R.P.Weston & Bert Lee
© 1934 by Francis, Day & Hunter Ltd.
*
sequence and karaoke by James Pitt-Payne, London UK
on Wednesday 31 May 2006 at 14.57
in association with Doug Grierson
*