Everything's At Home Except Your Wife 1912

by James Pitt-Payne, London UK - 17 Feb 2010
2010

When I come home each night to dine,
the housemaid lets me in,
she has a nature saturnine,
and wears a dreadful grin.
I say to her: "Suzette, my girl,
Is Madame in her room?"
She pauses to arrange a curl,
and watch my growing gloom;
For house maids view with fiendish glee,
a husband's secret woe.
Mine always rubs it into me
"Is Madame in oh no!"

Here's your house
with "Welcome" on the mat,
Here's the dog
the parrot and the cat,
There's the granpa's clock
in the corner of the hall,
and the parquet floor
to catch you when you fall.
There's a bill
On the table by the door,
There's the cook
the soup is on the floor!
All the sights and sounds
of a happy married life,
but not you wife!
No not your wife!
Ev'rything's at home
except your wife!

My wife leaves home in time each day
to lunch at some hotel,
she likes the cheerful matineé,
and shops a bit as well.
The things she buys reach home
as I return from toil at night,
The housemaid has them piled up high
to greet my fevered sight;
And as with hope for ever strong,
I murmur: "Is she here?"
She starts the old familiar song;
"What! Madame home? no fear!"

Here's some hats
I think I've counted eight,
for his pay
the messenger will wait,
In the big green box
you perhaps have taken note,
there's an ermine muff
and new chinchilla coat.
Here's some gloves,
You couldn't count the pairs,
Take a look
at the boxes up the stairs,
You will find up there
what'll keep you broke for life,
But not your wife!
No not your wife!
Ev'rything's at home
except your wife!

Soft karaoke
Words
piano 1
piano 2
piano 3
piano 4
lyric
pizz str bass
*
Everything's At Home Except Your Wife 1912
From"Oh! Oh! Delphine"
Music by Ivan Caryll
Lyrics by C.M.S.McLellan
© 1912 by Chappell & Co.Ltd. - London
*
sequence & karaoke by James Pitt-Payne, London UK
on Wednesday 17 February 2010 at 22.04
in association with Veda Meyer-Castens
*