Archibald Certainly Not! 1909 George Robey

by James Pitt-Payne, London UK - 8 August 2012
2012

It's no use me denying facts
I'm hen pecked, you can see!
'Twas on our wedding morn my wife
commenced to peck at me.
The wedding breakfast over
I said: "We'll start off today
upon our honeymoon!"
then she yelled:
"What! waste time that way?"

Archibald certainly not!
Get back to work at once, sir,
like a shot!
When single you could waste time spooning
but lose work now for honeymooning!
Archibald certainly not!

I once strolled through a field
and there a mad bull came across.
It gambolled with me playfully
and quickly won the toss!
Of course I sued the owner,
and the day the case was fought,
the judge exclaimed when I said:
"Sir! Let's have the bull in court!"

Archibald certainly not!
just show what other evidence you've got!
But he cried when I said: "Please forego it!
Because I must stand up to show it!"
Archibald certainly not!

A sportsman I have always been
I've hunted with the hounds.
I've hunted, too, without them,
and it cost me many pounds.
I can't afford to hunt now
that I'm married, but one day,
the wife remarked, when I asked her
if cricket I could play.

Archibald certainly not!
About that cricket game I've read a lot.
Besides, last time you played at Dover
I heard you bowled a maiden over!
Archibald certainly not!

A lady named Miss Hewitt
got on friendly terms with me.
She fell in love with me at once
and then fell in the sea!
My wife came on the scene
as I threw coat and vest aside,
As other garments I slipped off
to save the girl, she cried.

Archibald certainly not!
Desist at once disrobing on the spot!
You may show your pluck and save Miss Hewitt
but if you've got to strip to do it
Archibald certainly not!

At supper time last Sunday
I was hungry as could be.
A chicken on the table
smelt most savoury to me!
I longed for just a taster
as I munched my jam and bread.
At last I said:
"Can I have just the beak?"
Then my wife said:

Archibald certainly not!
You know that fowl for you was never got.
Eat chicken when to bed you're going!
Why, all night long
I'll have you crowing!
Archibald certainly not!

Soft karaoke
Words
piano 1
piano 2
piano 3
piano 4
lyric
pizz str bass
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Archibald Certainly Not! 1909 George Robey
Music by Alfred Glover
Lyrics by John L. St John
© 1909 by Francis, Day & Hunter Ltd.  London
*
sequence & karaoke by James Pitt-Payne, London UK
on Wednesday 8 August 2012 at 21.40
in association with Veda Meyer-Castens
*